Burning Man 2023

Ten days later, I am back from the dust. Burning Man 2023 was my 12th Burn in a row and the best one. When I first got on the internet, I received concerned messages from dear friends asking if I was okay. I imagine that hearing from me that this was such a special experience must have been counterintuitive to what they witnessed on CNN.

Six days before hopping on a plane to Burning Man, Chuchu and I concluded sitting as participants in an iboga retreat for the first time. Iboga is a powerful African plant medicine that involves a 30 hour ceremony (whereas ayahuasca or psilocybin is typically 4-6 hours). Although I serve plant medicine in Ceremonia retreats, I only sit as a participant in psychedelic ceremony once every half year. This was a momentous occasion for me and the results were no less than life changing.

I am writing another post to share my iboga experience. Suffice you to say, my intention going into Burning Man was presence, No-Mind, and ease. I almost didn’t decide to go to this Burn… the previous year was my most challenging and worst Burning Man experience. Not only were the conditions challenging–it was extremely hot and dusty–but I spent most of my time in 2022 chasing after parties, taking care of Birgins (first time Burners), and altogether not being present and constantly being in my mind.

For 2023, I also committed to doing a sober Burn. This, too, was new for me and a reflection of my new priorities coming out of 2022. Rather than use psychedelics to chase after experience, I decided that I would constantly tune in and honor the signals that my body was showing me. I would rest when I would feel tired. I would slow down when I would feel rushed. And I would breathe when I would feel absent.

Arriving at Burning Man, I had a conflict with Chuchu. Our iboga shaman shared with us that the following weeks would bring up our old patterns in greater contrast. This time, however, we had an expanded awareness to choose how to respond rather than react. This conflict carried into the night. Chuchu and I slept in a state of disconnection. The next morning, I woke early after vivid dreams and wrote a vulnerable letter to her. In my perspective, it was one of the most vulnerable letters that I’ve shared with anyone. I took responsibility for my deep exiled parts that sought to compensate through projection and expectation. I concluded writing this letter feeling whole and non-attached to the outcome, knowing that I did my work in integrity and responsibility.

After Chuchu read the letter, we quickly came back into connection. This felt like the most appropriate beginning to this Burning Man: a true reflection of where each of us stood as individuals and as a couple after so much inner work this past year. Last year, we spent so much of Burning Man disconnected from ourselves and each other; this year, we would spend the rest of the time in the most connected state we have ever known.

The first few days were characterized by spontaneity and non-attachment. Chuchu and I had times where we went on our own journeys. I found this easeful and effortless, a dramatic shift from the anxious attachment that I would have approached this in the past. There was a night where I went to a few of the popular parties, and then decide: “no, this is not what I want right now.” I went back to camp, picked up my handpan, and went to the furthest, most quiet corner of Burning Man: the trash fence. I sat down at an art piece and started playing. A crowd formed around me and then I passed the handpan around, sharing the gift of this beautiful instrument with people enamored by their first time touching a flying-saucer looking piece.

This spontaneous session would ultimately be my favorite memory from 2023’s Burning Man. It is so simple, yet such a manifestation of my intentions of presence and ease. There were other very special moments: spending time with Android Jones and getting to connect at a level of brotherhood. He is such a beautiful soul, so deep and wise. We didn’t need much words… I could feel his heart so readily at the surface. We got to visit some of our favorite people including Alex and Allyson Grey as we both laughed at the muddy terrain. There was something so special about meeting veteran Burners in the space of mutual surrender. There was an ease in which we chose to embrace whatever Burning Man was at that moment.

Chuchu and I spent some quality hours in the mud with Rick Doblin, the Director of MAPS, and Tyler Norris, the Board Chair of Naropa, exchanging our experiences facilitating groups and inventing in the model of peer support. It was a special continuation of the initial conversations where Rick advised us on the formation of what would become Ceremonia.

We connected with Ian-Michael of Holos Costa Rica and his partner, Isabella. Prior to this Burn, we were acquaintances in passing. Through these days, we had such beautiful conversations and shared moments of intimacy. I can see our mutual values and love of this Earth, this work, and our spiritual pursuits shining through these two.

Chuchu and I spent so much beautiful time with Ron and Sheila Marcelo, two of our dearest friends and alumni of Ceremonia, and Nancy Wu, who we met through 1Heart and went to Burning Man together with last year. It was so special to see the wonder and awe in their eyes as well as witness their integration of their Beingness in real-time.

There were countless other connections and moments. The Man and Temple Burns were something special. Android commented that it was like a “VIP Burn” because there were so few people. I’ve never felt this level of intimacy and presence at Burning Man, both within myself and in the people around me. It’s as if my original intentions were made manifest through my entire worldview. Every single person that remained at Burning Man through the flood said it was their favorite Burn ever.

I write this in celebration of what Burning Man is. It reflects back to me who I am at that moment. I remark that a year ago, in the extreme heat and dust, I was a man constantly seeking and chasing. This year, in the wet and cold, I am a man of presence and ease. I am excited for what is to come and who I will be at next year’s Burning Man. This feels a continuous unfoldment, a beautiful personification of my becoming as a human on this precious Earth.